4:50 am. heard the creaking of a chair; it sounded like that familiar scratching and soft thud i had become accustomed to in the house of my childhood. i turned around expecting to see a cat, softly purring and pushing for attention, but found nothing but air, the dripping of the faucet, whirring of my hard drive and the faint sound of the last summer crickets. 

every time i stop to think about it, that which used to be my life seems to recede further and further away until i’m merely a towheaded stranger who actually got out of the house once in a while.  all these things are slipping away- the lovely sundappled places in the mountains (full of campfire smoke, sunrises, drum circles, miniature boat races in icy clear streams and dew on bare feet) those place that i used to go to every year until the one time i just stopped going, picked the thought up like a fallen shirt and shoved it in the bottom drawer until next summer when it’s warm again.

the house centipedes are my only pets now; they’re harmless and they do a good job of eating the more menacing types of bugs.  having only seen the tiny outdoor type before, i was apprehensive of them at first, but now i regard them with a fondness that is perhaps undue, and more than likely a result of my lack of feline companionship. 

i had grown quite familiar with the biggest one, what with the number of times he skittered across the carpet and into the dark places in a startling manner, so i felt a curious wave of emotion when i found him drowned in a water glass one morning.  i couldn’t help but imagine his little legs kicking as he struggled in vain only a few yards from where i lay asleep.

we bought a little novelty robot beetle to replace him, but as much as i love artificial life, it simply isn’t the same as my old housemate. 

He/she did have children, though, and i’ll continue to regard them with distant affection, like you might do with a friend of a friend that you have with on facebook, but have never had a real conversation with. you’re just not sure what they’re all about, and if you try to pick them up, they might bite you.