Elegant degradation is a term used in engineering to describe what occurs to machines which are subject to constant, repetitive stress.

Externally, such a machine maintains the same appearance to the user, appearing to function properly. Internally, the machine slowly weakens over time. Eventually, unable to withstand the stress, it breaks down.

the scorched earth method worked for russia but it is a terrible strategy for human relations. 

remember that time that i spent the night and we were woken by air raid sirens?  it was in that bittersweet heart of suburbia and we were half asleep so we just walked around to all of the windows confused and anxious with no explanation and no adults.

the next time i heard them it was in the bombed out shell of a glass factory and it worked much better, aesthetically. 

my brother and i used to play in the fallout shelter under the church.  we were attracted to the yellow sign and the staircase leading into the dark before we knew what they signified.  

sound is the predominant sense today. i’ve been leaving the window open. it’s just the constant stream of cars passing on the highway, the jangle of windchimes before a storm, and snow quietly melting in the backyard- wait, that’s not a sound.  it lays there in odd haphazard stripes and piles.  i wish i could convince myself that it’s going away for a while, but it’ll probably be back by the end of the week.  it’s that way with many things.  i am not satisfied with myself; i lack the needed components to function, to pass through the aether, ghostlike, without leaving a long trail of hurt and confusion in my wake.   

in the military, hair ties are called “hair restraints” and they must be the same color as your hair.

here are some things about me:

there are a lot of songs that i only like because some inspired person decided to use them in a film in a way that transcends their intended meaning and causes them to be quite ironic or sinister.

every time i watch a movie, i point out all of the tower cranes in the background of the cityscapes.

i think there’s an atmosphere on the west coast that i would like to experience.

in the summer, i almost never wear socks.  this is because i am constantly followed around by a little sock gremlin with an insatiable hunger, and since he is an adventurer and never wants to eat the same meal twice, he only ever eats one of each pair. the last pair i wore was full of sand from a cave in minnesota, but he must have not minded.

i don’t like the look that people who love me give me when i am climbing something dangerous. for an instant each time it makes me want to stay at ground level forever.

this blog has become the dumping grounds of my non existent commonplace book.  it’s like whatever, it holds no illusions of what its purpose is. 

…in real life, and sometimes on the internet, i have always said “like” too much.  i hope it’s just a symptom of teenage girl disease- that i shall be rid of soon, you know.  i’m turning twenty in a few months. how’s that for surreal?  how many of you pronounce the second “t” in twenty?  i don’t.  twuh-nee. i say it like that. that’s ugly.  i like saying twen-tee better, actually.

there are too many sad girls in the world, and they’re always lonely because their particular kind of underhanded narcissism causes them to lash out at anyone who reminds them of themselves.

i don’t think i’ve ever called anyone a slut, a bitch, or a whore that wasn’t in jest.  if i have, i am truly sorry.